Unconventional
Coaching for
Unconventional People
Helping deep thinkers, idealists and non-conformists deal with their unique challenges in a normie world
Photo: Pawel Sokolowski
I do a lot of things.
Most of them have to do with death, drugs and delving deep.
Hi, I’m Aranja
Psychological and systemic coach
Death doula
Kink and BDSM coach
Somatic trauma integration counselor
Psychedelic integration coach
I help unconventional, artistic and gifted people rise to their unique challenges in ways that honor their intensity, complexity and uniqueness.
Get coaching from someone who actually gets you
If you don’t fit the dominant group, you may have struggled with finding support that can adequately engage with your less mainstream sides without seeing them as a problem.
The more culturally different, eccentric or taboo your history, interests and lifestyle are, the harder it often is to find practitioners who won’t see deviations from the norm as a an illness, maladaptive behaviour or a “problematic mindset”.
If this has been your experience, we might be a fit
I’m here for those of you who feel somehow different
Feeling “different” can take many forms and is highly individual.
Many of my clients live “normal” lives, adapting, and going about their daily business. Yet they sense that they need more from life and wonder how compatible the things they truly want are with the reality of the world.
Some of my clients are so-called “difficult” people who can’t help but speak their truth and act on their values. They are activists, big picture thinkers and whistleblowers, which doesn’t always make them popular with their peers and certainly not with people in positions of power.
Others are migrants or expats whose cultural background and migratory life has left them feeling like a minority, wondering what “home”, “belonging” and “identity” really mean. Many feel othered through repeated encounters with racism, sexism, homophobia, transmisogyny and other forms of discrimination.
Sometimes “different” is feeling like a stranger in your own family, the black sheep.
And finally there’s the weirdos, dreamers, misfits, and artists who embraced being different and left conventional life a long time ago.
Whatever the ways in which you don’t fit, there is a space for you here, to be seen as you are without being held to conventional standards of normativity.
People come to me when
Something has changed
Difficult changes often hit us from the outside and leave us feeling like something has been taken away or lost.
The loss can be material: an opportunity, a job, your home, a valued item, your health, a safe environment.
It can be immaterial - your sense of security and control, your self-esteem, your dignity, your belief system, things that can no longer be the way you had hoped.
It can be a loved one, lost through circumstance, conflict, growing apart, or death.
Changes, whether sudden or expected, ask us to adapt. Yet the tendency is to avoid, to numb, to ignore and to isolate.
When we can’t move on, the missing piece is often grief. It’s an emotion I am deeply familiar with as a death doula.
I support you in managing your pain in tolerable ways, inviting you to grieve what can no longer be, to show yourself compassion…and only then to think about how to rise from the ashes.
Something needs to change
Some changes come from the inside, particularly when you realise that you can’t keep going the way you’ve been doing.
As the negative consequences of past behaviour, bottled-up emotions and unhealthy relationships build up and circumstances are taking their toll, you are alerted to what is unsustainable and to what is not right for you. Something is off and you know it.
Perhaps you’ve adapted too well to convention to the detriment of your soul. Maybe you’ve let your freak flag fly, but find it hard to be in the world. Past trauma and current coping mechanisms may be rearing they heads. Relationships may be hard. And you’re not getting any younger either.
Whatever it is, your breaking point is approaching, or maybe that point was crossed a long time ago.
You know you need to make changes. Perhaps you’ve already tried, but without success. The task is daunting and you’re slowly losing confidence.
I’m here to help you through the mess. Together we explore what lies at the root of your challenges. We find alternatives that are more in line with who you are, how you want to live, whom you want to be in relationship with, and the things you still want to experience during your time on earth.
My Techniques
I believe growth happens when we experience things that touch and move us. I also believe life’s shadow side holds much potential for discovery if we dare to venture there.
I invite you into new experiences and perspectives. Together we can shine light in dark corners, open the closet to the skeletons inside, peek under the rug to see the dust that has been swept under it, and do some gentle spring cleaning. It won’t be all doom and gloom, I promise. Humor, playfulness and experimentation are all essential to my practice.
Trauma-Informed Somatic Work
Take a look at how your body responds to challenging situations and see if you can give your system a different (better) experience. It is about showing, not telling, your body that it is safe so it can let go of the ways it may be trying to (over)protect you.
Tarot & the Subconscious
Use what you see in the tarot cards to shed light on your subconscious, obtain information about what else might be going on in a given situation and receive guidance on what next steps might be wise to take.
Kink & BDSM Coaching
Learn how to engage in kink in a way that is true to your needs, wants and boundaries. Navigate BDSM relationships. Discover how personal topics influence how you play. Use kink as a tool for growth and self-development.
Contemplating Death, Dying, Grief & Endings
Engaging with the topic of death and endings can help us align our lives with our values, teach us humility in the face of what is, and help us deal with endings as we find ways to continue. This is also a space to talk about encounters with death, for grieving, and acknowledging what can no longer be.
Ritual Creation
Create personal rituals, big and small, to support yourself through hard times, bridge periods of uncertainty and transition, form new habits and discard the old, or simply celebrate the beginning and end of your day. Make your life a celebration.
Psychedelic Preparation & Integration
If you are planning a psychedelic experience, we can look at what your motivations, hopes and expectations are, what substances you are interested in and how you can prepare. Afterwards, I support you in integrating your experience. We can also talk about any insights or challenging trips you may have had in a non-therapeutic setting e.g. festivals or parties.
Note: I only offer trip-sitting in select locations.
These topics and techniques can be combined, depending on what works for you. I’m a big believer in creating experiences tailored to your specific needs that change something in you. I do this by drawing on creative, visual, body-based and experiential techniques wherever possible.
My Services
Below you’ll find what coaching modalities and packages I offer.
I keep my coaching offer varied and flexible with mix-and-match options because unconventional people don’t come in one size. The following are my main offers, but I invite you to create your own coaching modality with me to suit your needs, schedule and temperament. If you’re not sure where to start, go with a classic 60 minute coaching session and we can take it from there.
30 Min. Express Session
Got a quick question and just need to run it by someone, get a second opinion or be asked the right questions to help you find your answer? Then this is for you.
60 or 90 Min. Coaching
While most coaching is talk-based, I draw on exercises that engage your imagination, body and emotions because everything is connected.
6 Week Deep Dive
Delve deep into an issue that has been with you for a long time, is especially stubborn, or is currently a priority for you.
12 Month Metamorphosis
Lasting change takes time - time to form new habits, test new waters, and rewire our brains until we are comfortable with our new way of being. I support you along the way.
Bespoke Experiential Coaching
We change when we have new experiences. Experiential coaching gives you just that by curating situations in the real world that change something in you.
What My Clients Say
“I have had the incredibly good fortune of working with Aranja during one of the most tumultuous periods of my life. At the age of 36 I started a new career, took on more responsibility for an aging parent, and embarked on the rather existential journey of writing my own philosophy for life.
I came to Aranja wanting to be more intentional with my time and specific with my ethics. Two challenges that seemed quite daunting to me, but she helped break down my goals into approachable parts. One of the most profound gifts I received from our sessions was the practice of looking back and taking stock of how far I had come. This may seem obvious and simple to others, but it was a bit of a revelation for me. And the change has made all the difference.
Through Aranja‘s wisdom and good humor I was able to look at all these facets of my life from a new angle. Our open conversations mixed with meditations, writing prompts, and readings, helped create a dynamic environment for me to work in. Aranja was undaunted by my desire to explore traditional philosophy, she helped bring clarity and intention to my study. Her ability to discuss broad ideas and then find specific real world applications for those views was invaluable.
Aranja is an incredible woman of enormous range and depth, I feel privileged to have worked with her. These coaching sessions are a worthy investment in yourself and I absolutely recommend it.”
Katie T. (philosopher, activist and multipotentialite)
“I reached out to Aranja for guidance on how I could navigate obstacles I was facing as a freelance designer.
What I got from Aranja was not just textbook advice or generic feedback but genuine solutions specific to the very issues I was dealing with.
Aranja helped break down my problems into smaller, more manageable parts and enabled me to see things from constructive perspectives. Aranja also helped me see my worth as a designer when dealing with clients and recognising what worked and what didn’t when it came to maximising my potential and level of productivity.”
Amir A. (artist, illustrator and graphic designer)
“Aranja has this rare ability to connect communication with curiosity and compassion to navigate thorny subjects and help you explore and work through them. In the many years that I have known and trusted her, we have worked through everything from navigating a new job opportunity to motherhood to relationships to being an immigrant to a new country. I’m glad to call her both a friend and a coach.”
Lani H. (hapa, mama, generally unconventional person)
